Michelle's Life in La-La Land

I've been sick for the past week. I haven't caught a cold for so long that I can't even remember when was the last time i was sick. Also, unlike this time, i would normally recover in 2~3 days. What happened to me?

Maybe the reason was the same as why Meredith almost died. She could swim but almost drowned because she lost her will of living for just a second.

Am I gradually losing my hope of succeeding?
How could I find back my confidence and optimism?